I have realized that I suck at 1x1 ribbing. I should have noticed this when I did it at the bottom of the sweater:
So I pulled out 6 rows, and tried again. I tried twisting the rib, but that just creates huge gaping holes in between the stitches. I tried twisting the knit stitches only, but that leaves gaping purl stitches. I tried loosing my tension (this seems counter-intuitive, but according to what I read, trying to pull your stitches tighter makes gaping ribbing worse), but it didn't work either. I've pulled this part of the sweater out three times already, and I've made no progress since Tuesday (though crowded buses and the idiot that sat next to me with a huge duffel bag in his lap that took up half my seat space didn't help either).
Now I just don't know what to do, other than change it to a 2x2 rib, since I magically don't have this issue when I do any other multiple of ribbing. It'll also mean the bottom won't match, which I'm fine with. As long as I do the sleeves the same way, I think it'll work. But I rather do it right. How the hell do I do 1x1 ribbing without gaping holes?